Reflection

It's been 7 years since I started in the world of Triathlon, I cannot believe how that time has flown.

The other day I was looking at old photos and my wife bought me a medal holder and I was eventually putting  up on the wall to show them off.

Not really to show them off to anyone in particular, they are up on the wall  in my office more to remind me what it had taken to get them, the hours of training, the injuries, the illness and just the pain. 

Each one represents hard work and dedication, and some may say, and they could be totally right stupidity. 

It struck me that I have built a nice collection of medals. They are only half of the collection so I will need to get another thing to hang the rest.

Anyhow, when I was doing this and looking at the photo's it gave me the idea to write this blog to reflect on how far I have come in the last seven years.

But not only for me to reflect also I wanted to give you reading this a chance to also give yourself that virtual pat on the back and for you to take the time to reflect on success and also failures over the last number of years that you may have had. 

I do think at times we just accept the things we achieve without taking the time to reflect and be satisfied with how we achieved that prize.

I also include failures because I feel they go hand in hand with our successes.  Without failures in our journey we would not be the people and athletes we are today.

Seven Years on

There have been many ups and downs in the past 7 years it has by no means been plain sailing; quite the opposite really.

Would I do things differently if I were to start again? No, I don't think so.

I still feel I am only at the start of this journey I am always learning always looking to do things different.

I feel am only beginning to see results by this, I mean I can only now start to look back and compare how I manage things like distances or speed and preparation to maybe three or four years ago.

I am starting to see when I am out on the bike that I can manage to get up certain hills easier than I did the same hill maybe 3 years ago.

I pick some hills now to test myself as when I started out on the bike there were many hills I could not get up I had to get off and walk up the rest.

This embarrassed me but also made me more determined to get up that hill the next time. Now I can get up these same hills in a different gear and not getting out of the saddle.

This is how I measure my progress, my fitness. And it is this type of improvement that makes me happy as I will never win a race or get close to it, but it's always nice to see progress and improvement.

I also have learned from every race I have entered; I am happy to say there is not a race I have not finished either some by the skin of my teeth, but I finished.

I remember my very 1st race I have so many gels and bars I could have done 5 Ironman distance races, my 1st race was a sprint distance it was so funny, they were taped all over my bike and did I use any.. nope not one. (think I still have some of them, hahaha).

But every race I have learned lessons, learned preparation, learned that I can push myself a little too.

So, in my 7 years I have raced 12 Sprint distance races, 3 Olympic distance races, 1 70.3 Ironman distance race and ran 1 marathon and number of 10k and loads and loads of 5ks.

I have trained hundreds of hours and covered thousands of kilometres in all three disciplines of Swimming, Bike and Running to allow me to do these races.

Health and body wise, I have had 4 changes of Arthritis medication treatment, 1 hip replacement, blood clots in my calf, thigh and 2 in my lungs and several flare ups of my arthritis along the way.

I have given speeches, become a Peer to Peer support for Arthritis Ireland, been Interviewed and even appeared on Tritalking sports site chatting with the infamous Joanne Murphy. 

I have had my blogs supported by Irish Runner on their website and Sundried sport clothing who have published my blogs on their website and for whom I am also an Ambassador (remember 50% discount on the whole order just use BYRNE at the checkout, a massive saving on super kit).

It's mad totally mad and not to forget the number of friends I have made along the path too I am truly grateful that this journey of mine allowed me to get to meet so many people and to be able to call you all friends is amazing. 

You all inspire me to keep going too, I know some people say I inspire people but honestly I take a huge deal from my friends they are brilliant. 

I have seen people start Triathlon from scratch to making the world championships in Kona, I see people compete at the highest level. I see people fail only to come back and totally smash their goals. All of this helps me to keep going, to keep planning and fighting. So to all of you thank you. 

I have a good social media following and this continues to surprise me with people who now follow and me chat with me on social media and again I think this is amazing and If my story or I can help anyone or answer any question then I am more than happy to help out.

Humps and Bumps

Looking at this medical list one would wonder why on earth would I even bother get out of bed let alone keep doing this, for the record most people do think I am a bit mad.

Honestly, I suppose it is several different reasons. The training keeps me going as a person, ironically health wise it is good for me, especially mentally.

The mental side of training is great, there are day's I love just getting out on the bike and going through the backroads and looking about at how beautiful Ireland can be.

I find swimming really good for my mental health there is just something deadly being in the water and gliding through, its not how good a swimmer or how quick you are it's all about just getting in and swimming.

The same can be said for running, I am a rubbish runner I am very slow it's not really running it's slow jogging and sometimes I just go out for runs to clear my head and switch off.

I am not the type of person who will just give up, I remember getting surgery on my left ankle about fifteen years ago and the consultant said to me afterwards that I would never run again.

I use his words to drive me on now, and I suppose for someone told he would not run again, completing about three 5k's a week, a number of 10ks and a half and full marathon I'd suggest he was not fully right.

Now don't get me wrong as I said my running is crap, it hurts my ankles which need to be fused and when I walk or run it's bone on bone and sometimes just totally sore and uncomfortable but I get through it, some days are better than others and that's just dependent on a variety of things.

Training and Pain

I also find the training helps my pain, again this is something that seems to fly in the face of having autoimmune diseases and I know a lot of people with such diseases don't really understand how or why I can do all this training this is a question I have been asked many times.

Honestly, there is no magic pill for this, I started off slow and small and gradually increased over time. If you told me seven years ago when I was starting to come to terms with my diagnosis that I would have done so many triathlons, run a marathon I honestly would have had to have you locked up in a padded cell.

Nothing happened overnight, it's a slow and sometimes painful process with a lot of backward steps and its here that you need to have faith and patience to sometimes start again or what feels like starting again but it's worth it, my health is better, I have lost about 5 to 6 stone in weight so all of this is good for me. (Do not get me wrong I could do with a few more lbs kind of falling off too).

When I say there are backwards steps what I mean is with my diseases I would have less energy than a normal healthy person, a lot of added issues such as fatigue, aches and pains, being more susceptible to being sick so when I am training I am obviously putting added stress on my body and sometimes I have over trained and got sick or just knackered where I needed to not train for a week or so.

This is the balance I am still trying to find seven years on. It stops me from getting a proper trainer or follow a normal training plan simply because I just can't.

There have been many mornings or training sessions planned and I wake up exhausted (this is a symptom of my diseases; my sleep can be poor or non-existent at times and I wake up shattered) and that training session is binned I just can't do it.

I am getting slightly better but I know I can't train 5 days in a row, I know now by how my body feels if I have done too much that week or the week before to just lay off a little and take a rest day or an added rest day.

It is frustrating but I must accept that this is my body's way of telling me to give over or I am getting too old for all this shit.

I say it takes me twice a long to get fit as a normal healthy person because of the set backs and this is where you have to have patience and trust in the process and I suppose have a drive or desire to keep going.

Drive is another thing that helps, I tend to be goal driven I need a goal to train for however stupid that goal may be at the outset.

I find if you commit to that goal you can get there and it doesn't have to be a mad goal it can be anything but it does help to be a little out of your comfort zone.

I suppose this is the hard side of my training, but I still consider myself being lucky to be able to do what I do, there are lots of people who cannot for various reasons.

When I had my blood clot's there was a time where it looked like that was that. I wasn't sure what the outcome would be, I would be lying if I was to say that I was not scared but as I recovered and got back to feeling normal again I was looking to get back to training.

I was back out on my bike within 30 minutes of getting the ok from my consultant to get back to light training 6 weeks post clots.

I remember my wife warning me not to be doing more and I still remember the feeling out on the bike that day slightly nervous but felt great. I had dodged a bullet or a few bullets and come out the other side. I needed to start again from this setback but for me, this was ok I was alive and able to get back to training.

I had the blood clots in May, and I completed a sprint triathlon in August that same year. I was crap that day but I was smiling the whole time and my mantra that day and still to this day is "Because I can".

My next big set back was my hip replacement. I had always wanted to do Dublin marathon since I was kid and the marathon ran past my house and we used to help on the water stations. There was something amazing about every single person not just the good runners but everyone right to the very last person on the road.

I decided to enter the marathon in 2018.

I entered in October 2017 and I had an appointment with a consultant in January 2018. My right hip had been hurting me throughout 2017 it was a niggly pain and getting more and more constant.

I got a x-ray during a check up with my Arthritis consultant and they noted I had avascular necrosis which is the death of bone tissue due to a lack of blood supply and this is degenerative and only get's worst.

I saw the hip consultant in January 2018 and he took one look at my x-ray and just said "one choice" full replacement.

At this stage I was kind of not surprised I was gutted but I was in a lot of pain and discomfort and it was getting worse.

The only problem was his list was 14 months long, so I was scheduled for February 2019. I kind of mentioned the marathon and he kind of gave me a look of "seriously", there was no need to any more words his looks said it all.

I was disappointed leaving his office that day and for a few days after but then the more I taught about it the more I was like "if I can just get through it".

I will be getting a new hip so why not totally destroy this one. I spoke with a few friends and they were like yea sure why not. (great friends hey). The marathon was back on.

I knew I could not do loads and loads of kms in training, again this balancing act this time of keeping my body and hip in one piece so try to run the marathon.

I would have to try to train smart, so I decided more short stuff and try to build fitness through swimming and the bike too. It was funny I would hobble into the pool and swim with a float between my legs so I did not have to kick, then I would hobble back out.

My longest training run was 14kms and that was agony. The closer to October the worse my hip was getting and the sorer it was becoming.

I remember being in Sligo the weekend before the marathon and I went for a 5k run, I was in bits in agony I barely made the 5k back to the hotel.

I was so close at this point to not running and quitting I remember thinking if I can't even do 5k how on earth am I going to get through 42km?

I was a bit gutted and disappointed. I had trained and gone through all the pain only to get to the week before and not be able to run 5k.

I decided on total rest the week before and to give it my best shot and to see what happens on the day. I did promise my wife if it was too much I'd stop (as if yea).

On the day of the marathon the adrenaline got me through a good deal of it and a few painkillers too, the day was lovely and sunny, and it was just brilliant to run through the streets and roads of Dublin.

I hit "the wall" about at about the 16th mile and my legs just gave out, the energy ran out not the hip just the fitness, I was jogging along then nothing it was a really odd feeling.

I started chatting with a few other guys who were also walking and we walked and talked and I walked a little more through a few feed stations and took on what I could to revive the energy store.

I crossed the line in six and a half hours I was so happy this was a huge deal for me. This was a childhood dream even though I was wrecked it was worth all the discomfort.

After that I did a few more runs, but then my hip gave up on me I was in so much pain I could barely walk and February could not come soon enough for me.

I got my new hip, followed the doctor's orders and I again had to start all over again and this time it was from a walker to 2 crutches to 1 crutch to no crutch. To the end of my driveway and back, to the end of the road, to around the block, to around the block twice, then eventually around the village I live in.

I set a goal to get back and do a parkrun before the end of 2019 and in December I did a parkrun, that was my marathon of 2019.

So as I mentioned at the start my last seven years have been made up of lots of ups and downs and restarts, but you what you need to do is keep going, keep chipping away, be patient, accept that there will be crap rubbish times, but there will also be great rewarding times too it's all about perspective. Perspective is key. I do not take myself too serious as a Triathlete I just try and do what I can do and with a smile even if its through the odd grimace of pain.

And when its tough I remind myself of my mantra "Because I can".

I don't expect to win, but to me I win every time I line up on the start line of a race and I am winning when I train.

Effects of Covid -

Covid has played havoc with all my planned races cancelled in 2020 as with most people's plans and lives in 2020 it just been shit really.  It continues to effect so many people in such crap way. At the time of writing this there are more lockdowns and new waves showing up all over the world, it seems this awful disease will not cease until a proper vaccine has been found (and perhaps not the magic vaccine that a certain Mr Trump will produce just in time for the election)

It's not easy to adjust life has changed and its not a short term change that we expected back in March this is our new new at the moment. 

I am lucky that I can work from home and have been since March. I would be on the at-risk list with my diseases as my current medication turns off or down my immune system in order to try to reduce the inflammation that my arthritis produces.

I need to be careful which I do try to be and mindful that if I do get it I could become pretty sick, so hopefully it stays away from me.

I do miss my friends in the office, I tend to just work and see very few other people during the week and I am quite personable and like chatting and meeting up with my friends. So for me this is how Covid is effecting me directly. 

I love the weekends, when I get to meet up with my friends in the Triathlon club, or other friends and family. I try make the most now from my weekends. 

My big goal for 2020 was to do another Ironman 70.3 this one was abroad in Portugal, ironically as I type this I would be in the airport coming home from the weekend. But hey what can we do really, so many others have had their planned races cancelled or postponed and also lost a lot of money. 

Note to Ironman Inc.. if anyone from this company is reading this, you guys need to review your refund policy, your turning a lot of people off your races and will lose a lot of customers with your refusal to give refunds to people. (Just needed to say that). 

Those of you who know about my exploits will know that I have done one 70.3 before in Dublin 2017. I made it across the finish line with 7 minutes to spare to the cut-off time of 8 hours 30 mins.

Don't get me wrong either I am totally proud of this achievement, again I point to the line above re the padded cell and even typing it out again I have to think did I really do it. Yes I really did it, I remember the day totally, I remember the pain of cramps I was in doing the half marathon final leg.

I spent the whole 21k in cramp it was pure awful, although it took my mind off the pain in my ankles trying to run.

As I mentioned I learn from every race and I decided that if I were to try another 70.3 it was to be in a nice sunny place, I don't like the Irish sea its just too bloody cold and messes up my joints and stuff.

So Portugal was selected and I wanted to focus on my training and try to step it up a little and try my best to finish "in the pack".

I have a time in my head that if the day goes to plan I could achieve it and that's the goal. Unfortunately, it has been postponed until October 2021. But it is still the goal.

I was also going to try the Dublin marathon again, and I forget the real reason except to try be quicker than my last time doing it and to experience that buzz again.

My logic was I would be fit from Ironman and I could just keep ticking over another few weeks and take on the marathon again.

Again Covid messed that up, the organisers are putting together a virtual marathon, so me being me... hahaha nope I did not sign up for the virtual marathon as I know I just could not run 42km with no support, atmosphere etc.

I signed up to the half marathon instead and this is now my only goal for 2020.

I really do not know if I will still do it as I have kind of lost my mojo for training for a goal.

 With Covid it's probably been good for me as I am now doing my own training just to tick over, keep fit, meet up with my friends for a chat and coffee without that pressure of having to do this session and that session. I am taking a break from that type of training.

I was struggling to find the time to squash enough swimming in, with running and then a long bike ride too. It was starting to frustrate me and annoy me. 

So with Covid and all racing this year cancelled I just decided to do what I want to do with no pressure at all and I am enjoying it, it's given my hip time to settle in and for my body to rest. For me this is the positive side of Covid I suppose. 

So I am not too sure I will do the half marathon, I kind of need to decide soon as it due to be run over the bank holiday weekend in October, so need to get my arse in gear if I am to do it we will see.

So that's it, my ramblings about my last number of years, they have been lifechanging. 

Thank you all for reading this, I hope this has not bored you and you find in it something to take away, thanks for all the support from everyone over the past 7 years and maybe lets look forward to the next seven.

Ken